I am 30. So is my dad.

Today is day number 212 and I am 30 weeks! I have 10 weeks left and I am 75,7% of the way there.

I am now about 40 cm long now, and I weigh about 1.35 kilos, the weight of the head of the cabbage – a culture that my father says is at its peak of popularity in these particular days. A pint and a half of -- no, not beer, but an amniotic fluid -- surrounds me, but that volume will decrease as I get bigger and take up more room and bathroom in my mom's U-Terrace.

My eyesight continues to develop, though it's not very keen – for which my father says that I am lucky not to be able to suffer the visual ugliness of this world embodied in dudes like B13, BC, Sneze Gavazova and alike. But even after I am born, I'll keep my eyes closed for a good part of the day. And when I do open them, I do really want to see some smiling faces, sun, and a god damn warm milk container, be it a titty, a bottle or a mug.

I'll respond to changes in light but will have 20/400 vision — which means I can only make out objects a few inches from my face, and any how many peps will have the permission to step that near to me – Ivica Bocevski, Marko Spasovski, George Cloonie? Just for the record - a normal adult vision is 20/20, although my father do know many occasions that later this perfect relations. My dad – a savant, or…?

In the past week I:

- Went to my mother's co-workers football tournament where one 'caircanes' almost hit my premises. It is then that I promised that I will sh** out of him when I'll be born. Other wise I think I understand football better than ma.

- Also went to 'слава' (a name day) where my mom has over-eaten her self and that with beans so I had this bizarre experience of a night struggle with a sporadic gas exhaustions that kept pushing me away and to the center. Dude, farting at some one might be fun, but farting by some one!

- But then the next day I went to my granny Duci-Da-Man, I had a real nasty ass kicking “сарма”, not my dad's recipe that totally recommended to vegetarians who would not only convert by tasting real shit but will have to give hope of ever having a normal cholesterol level.

- Yesterday we went to doctor Vesna, my dad's favourite as he is doctoromisogenic. And my mom has some teeth fixed. Can you F*** imagine how that looks and feels from the inside? Some one buzzing, and anxiously, but not sturdy, trembling your castle. And then at the end, as if all those nightmarish hissing and buzzing sounds were not enough, a bloody 'халогенско плаво' light on the top of my house. I am seriously happy that I shall be using my lips only in the first time.

- And last but not least, my dad is not on 'службено путовање', but with his duties, daily habits and working rhythm that are different than mom's, I am looking forward to the holidays to have some quality time spent with my lovely bi-human world.