18 weeks

This is day number 126 and I am 18 weeks now! I have 154 days or 22 weeks left, and I am 45.0% of the way there!

Head to rump, I am about 14 cm long (about the length of a bell pepper, but hopefully I am not as idiotic in taste and conduct as that DJ named after this other wise great dolma container) and I weigh almost 200 grams. I am busy flexing my arms and legs, doing daily exercises of revolving and taking 'looong' walks through my mums belly — movements that my mom started noticing this week and will notice more and more in the weeks ahead. So move MA! You Gotta Move I Move I!

My blood vessels are visible through my thin skin, but nowadays everything is visible with proper equipment. My ears are now in their final position, although they're still standing out from my head a bit and make me look 'klapush'. A protective covering of myelin is beginning to form around my nerves, a process that will continue for a year after I am born. If I am a girl, my uterus (the home of the future generations) and fallopian tubes are formed and in place. If I am a boy, my genitals are noticeable now. But I skillfully concealed my sex, or gender or 'pojeo/pojela' membership from my parents and their doctor during the ultrasound we had yesterday. The doc is suspecting my gender, my mom and dad too. It ultimately amasing to have sooo many suspicious minds and but two genders to suspect in, isn't it?

My mom is often hungry these days. An increase in appetite is pretty common now. My father is thinking of finding a way to feed her in sleep so she would spend more time kissing her awake. In the respect of the former, bigger, more comfortable clothes are a must now as her appetite and waistline grow. My male parent, so to say, offerd her his old baggy clothes but she kindly refused to be turned into ragged 'mashkudanka'.

Her cardiovascular system is undergoing dramatic changes, and during this trimester her blood pressure is lower than usual. That is the reason why my mom feels a little dizzy when she springs up too fast from a lying or sitting position. Now take this 'too fast' relatively. It is not with the speed of light but it is neither as fast as a shit-scared, eloping, houseless tortoise. But luckily my dad is here to 'boost' her pressure up with his incidents.

I already told you about my uncle Henkjan. Maybe I forgot to mention my 'caught' aunt Maca ('caught' = try to find a better translation of 'fatena'), who accompanied us on our Matka trip. The same day we had my great-uncle and great-aunt coming over. They are one of the coolest both persons and couples on planet, the coolness of which is so great for it to be even half covered and accounted for on a whole site, let not speak of a single blog post.

Then we visited the doctor who was jovially whistling all the time he was cheking me out, so my parents say since I was sleeping throughout the visit. Then my mom tried to counterfeit her weigh and I got up to see what the laughter was all about.

Oh! Nearly forgot, I met a super cool uncle – Face who would be probably better described by my mom. And I was also interviewed by the Slovenian Embassy official as I will be traveling to Slovenia next month. Yeayh! And I will also be going to London next month. I know that I shall not know or remember a shhhhh, but I am more than certain that all that will be properly documented by our camera and later on narativised by my father's wit.

Uncle Henkjan

Last week I met uncle Henkjan for the first time. My mom and dad have talked about him a lot, and they were very excited about his coming to Skopje again, and I thought – this guy must be a very special person for them!

I was right. Henkjan van Vliet from Amsterdam is a very special person and a very dear friend of my parents, with whom I had a nice time during his one-week-stay in Macedonia. He brought me nice presents, we went together to several restaurants and we ate A LOT! I must say I really enjoyed the time spent together in our hangings out.

But what I enjoyed most is this: my brave (and crazy as always) dad tried to learn some Dutch! And as this was not enough – he started with the two most difficult-to-pronounce phrases, even for the Dutch people! I still feel my moms laughing because of which her belly was trembling and shaking so hard that it woke me up! And her laughter is waking me up even now, and every time she remembers my dad “speaking Dutch”.

However, I feel fine. Even in a shaking belly. As long as my mom and dad are happy and enjoying their friends, I am as well.

What’s new in the 17th week?

Week 17 and I am still not a teen, but soon (years from now) I shall be. My weight now is well over 100 grams, to be more precise 140. My father still says that the most precious and valuable items are measured in grams, like gold, diamonds, caviar and on. But I know that no sooner he has seen me in person he will immediately start loving all of my growing weight.

I am 12.5 cm long, longer than roller ruler, ‘shubler’ or ‘shestar’. Now as far as the living world comparison is concerned I really do have to protest as I did last time, but this one not directed at such intolerably capitalistic comparisons, but to my parents relying on such ‘imperialistic’ sources. Hence I shall try to compare myself with a little ‘voice-over’ help by my parents. Moreover, I shall encourage you all to find a counterpart of something that is long 12.5 cm, weighs around 150 grams, can move its joints. That is slightly more than a normal CD diameter, a size of a “skopski jabucar”, of a bigger ‘lampion’, of a smaller melon, of an ‘izdishan’ post-new year balloon, of the 95 A bra basket, of…

BUT, all this is formal, superficial, unimportant. It does not tell anything about the contents. Therefore, from now on, I will be only and only compared to qualities. So, this week, I am as firm as a bone, and yet as fragile as it. As moving and movable as any marine animal, and yet anchored and dependant on my mother by my more and more strengthening umbilical cord.

As big as any baby of my age and yet smaller than imaginable for you. As sweaty as morning dew, yet as smelling as the petal from which it fells. As light as two hands full of peanuts, and yet as heavy and strong as the fart they induce. Now that is what I feel like being this week, had you the need to find what is actually written, go and read those quantifying, deeply westernized sites. And do forgive my father for this.

Last Wednesday I had the opportunity to watch some football games. It started great if not for my mother’s early retreat to bed, D*** mama, I may be a boy! However I got the chance to both meet my father’s friend Dejan who supports one of the most feminine dancing clubs in the world – AC Milan, and the chance to listen to commentaries in two languages Macedonian and Albanian. For me, being totally deprived of any linguistic training or knowledge, all languages (save the doc’s mumbling) are all but same to me. (Sorry for being politically incorrect, but I am politically uneducated, non-seduced and unburdened. HAHAHAHA!!!).

Then, the next day as you already know, I went Wickeeeed. The concert was great, I head banged, my mother bounced a bit and my father was one of the very, very, very few people that actually sang along. Not that he knows Bulgarian that much, he knows the lyrics. And there was a beer fair, whatever that is. Then I spent a nice weekend with my aunt Nana a while, and mostly with mu parents who had great guests on Saturday. Papak and Elena. They have a very lovely and cute daughter Angela, who being more than three years superior to me will probably by my role model, rather than friends. They really understand children. My father says Papak is a true father-figure guru that only lacks a bong and a circle of smoke into which “Nah follow Yah word, ask not, wonder, not, just go with it maan!” is written. Auntie Elena is very tender, nice, and soft looking, I know Angela would have her wits and mostly looks after her. A real Russian princess. And as we start having a nice chat I was taken away by my mother. That’s the ‘curse’ of being attached.

Then yesterday I went out with my uncle Henkjan who is not from Macedonia, as if it makes a lot of difference to me, but who is nice chatting companion, caring, and this time full of exciting traveling stories. Ahh! There goes another week. And I am looking forward to the next.

Uikeda: Revolution!

Last night my mom and dad took me to greatest ska-concert!

Though for my parents "Uikeda" ("Wikeda") is number-one Bulgarian ska band for years, for me this is the first time I had a chance to see and understand a live ska concert! It was a revolution!

And I must say I liked it a lot! Although I still don't completely understand what was all those jumps in my mom's belly...

16 weeks: Avocado or a Quince?

This is day number 113 and I am 16 weeks! I have 167 days or 24 weeks left, and I am 40.4% of the way there.

In the next few weeks, I will double my weight thanks to my father's juiciest ribs and meat 'vratolomiii' , although our doc forbids us from too many of those, and my mum's super duper delicious pie, although not much in comparison to my great aunt's world famous 'tegneta' pie. And I shall add inches to my length. Just as a comparison, inches in my world are but meters in yours.

Right now, I am about the size of an avocado: 12 cm long (head to rump) and 100 grams. As the avocado comparison is concerned my father, mumbling and grumpy as always, thinks it is culturally inappropriate and even offensive to follow western, in this case merchant, societies and blindly take their comparative measurement unites.

Although I know him at times being over-naggy I could not but agree that a more local comparison can and should be made. What he suggests is a quince for the reason of it being singable and seasonable (mind not my dad, he likes to make up words), my dad chanting something like "Svirajte mi jesen stize dunjo moja", and the autumn is knocking on our city gates and mostly parks. In addition, my dad claims that quince marmalade is better than anything that can come out of that bitter-sweet-sourish nothing called avocado. I really believe that he is frustrated to have learned of avocados at the age of twenty or so.

My legs are much more developed, which fills my dad's heart with joy and excitement due to the prospect of us using our legs to embrace the mountains, not just to go to the toilette. My head is more erect than it has been, which far more erected than my father's embrio-like sleeping position. My eyes have moved closer to the front of my head, so I look less alien.

My ears are close to their final position, too. The patterning of my scalp has begun, though my locks aren't recognizable yet, but locks they shall be, I my parents swear that when time comes I shall have the cooooolest dread locks ever. My dad has a little legacy stashed for me. I have even started growing toenails, maybe I will polish them when I grow up, with the little help of my friend - the fabulous, young-in-heart, lovable by all laws - JinJu.

And there's a lot happening inside as well. For example, my heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood each day, and this amount will continue to increase as I continue to develop.

The past week has been a great chain of social events. First, I went to Kalin's birthday. Kalin is so cute and so well mastering the skill of social relations' management, let not say as my dad's shirt says "making people do what ever he likes and (them) feel great about it".

The following day I had my aunt and grandma. They are such a lovely couple together, the grumpiness of the one is easily remolded into the course openness of the other. Then, I went to Marko's birthday, who was less social at first but then he has a great ski-lump like uptake. The same day I had my dear friend Jana come for a visit. Her dad instructed my dad on stroller (pram, 'количка') selection. Knowing him a little, I am afraid he still wants to get me and old, 'половна' пеглица (Fiat P126) as means of transport…

My friend Anastasija

This is my friend Anastasija. She is almost a year now and she is really adorable.

Here Anastasija is trying to put her leg into a shoe.

I can hardly wait to see how she ties her shoe laces :)

My sex is still a mystery

My sex is still a mystery, but I am sexy any way.

This is day number 107 and I am 15 weeks now! I have 173 days or 25 weeks left, and I am 37.5% of the way there.

I now measure about 10 cm long, crown to rump, and weigh in at about 70 grams. Thus I am about a size of an apple: Ich been ein struddle mastraaf now!

I am busy moving amniotic fluid through my nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in my lungs begin to develop. My dad says I should be careful what I move around through my nostrils as to avoid sniffing my life away as the eerie-looking, palm-falling, skin-shrunk old rock star from the photo he is trying to show. By now you’ve by far realized that my old man is not an ordinary, normal man. I hope I have my mum’s genes. My legs are growing longer than my arms now, and I can move all of my joints and limbs, so I can dance, dance and dance. Though my male parent is suspicious about the prospect of a male ballet dancer.

Although my eyelids are still fused shut, I can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at my mom’s tummy, for instance, I am likely to move away from the beam, so do not pull those reflectors at me or turn the luminosity down.

There's not much for me to taste at this point, but I am forming taste buds which present the utmost pleasure for my dad who is convinced that he will be the sensei-guidance on my path to full nutritious formation and culmination. He is eager for us to have started although he well knows that milk and ‘kashicki’ will be on my menu for months.

Finally, if my mom would have an ultrasound this week, they may be able to find out whether I am a boy or a girl! But she is not. So I guess my sex will remain a mystery, at least for the next 3 weeks, until my next ultrasound! Oh God! (Though I still have no concept of it.) I can imagine my father with a magnifying glass, playing gender Holmes, looking at my mum’s stomach for the answer of the mystery. Ah! He can be silly at times.

Don't be too disappointed if it remains a mystery even longer, though. Nailing down my sex, (my dad again protests against the use of such heavily connotationally burdened expression as “nail down”), depends on the clarity of the picture and on my position in my mom’s tummy. I may be modestly curled up or turned in such a way as to "hide the goods.", and GOOD they shall be.

This week I went to the doctor who said that everything is fine with my mum, hence with me. Then I also participated in a climbing expedition to Golem Korab, and for all you heretics, I have a proof. HA! Then I visited one of my grand mums and aunts, and goofied around with my older cousin, which is soooo nice and well, properly mannered. My little cousin seemed bit nervous, but it will grow out of him. This week I will be attending two birthday parties, those of my eager-to-meet friends Kalin and Marko. And I hope I will not again serve as an excuse for my mum to have an extra large piece of cake. Though my dad after the last doctor’s visit is so shitty overwhelmed that he is willing to ‘popushtiti’ and let my mum have all sweets she likes.

Oh! And my dad is sorry for the delayed post.

Чичко Andy and Тетка Elina

As I have some brains to brag with now, I can tell you about my latest social development. Less than two weeks now I met my famous uncle Andy with his girlfriend (a concept I can not still understand being captured here alone). They are JUST great.

Though my uncle Andy is rushing me a bit, since they bought me a book far before I can read, how ever I have no doubts my parents can do it for me at least for some time. The book is titled "Mogly", just like me.

But back to my new friends. Andy and Elina are both very nice, very cute, very smart and very anthropologists, although I have no idea what it means. My father tells me it has to do with people. But then I asked him: "Is it some sort of a doctor?", he turned his eyes around saying that I will learn some day.

Then, I could not stop overhearing my dad’s conversation with Andy and Perica, one of the sincerest and the cutest 'мргод'-looking people on the face of the planet. And A Father to Jana, whom I can hardly wait to personally meet, as we were unofficially and Unconsciously introduced on several occasions.

Oh!, back to the conversation. The three of them are talking about running something that is called a camp full of some friends that I am looking forward to meet. I do not know why, as I have no idea what much of it means, but I am feelin' it being a whale of time…

Look! I can suck my thumb!

This is day number 99 and I am 14 weeks now! Which means – I entered the second trimester! Yupiiiiiiiii!!!!! I have 181 days or 26 weeks left, and I am 35.0% of the way there.

This week's big developments

Thanks to brain impulses, my facial muscles are getting a workout as my tiny features form one expression after another, thanks to what I can now squint, frown, grimace, a genuine proof that it was the kinetic first and then the verbal as it can be also witnessed by the theatre of the masks, by the masks you (hypocritical) elders put on to meet other masks, at least what some uncle Eliot thinks. And I can pee because my kidneys are producing urine, which I release into the amniotic fluid around me — a process I'll keep up until birth.

My dad can not grasp the idea how I can behave so non-humanly as if I am fish – sleep, food and 'измет' in the same place. My mum is hoping that if me being a boy I will not pick some masterful peeing habits from my father. And YEAHHH! I CAN suck my thumb! A habit I shall not abandon for a looong time. If you look the photo carefully, you can see that the doctor managed to catch me sucking on the ultrasound!

My father is stricken by the idea how with my 8-9 centimeters can suck anything.I hope I will not catch him sucking something out of the nurse.

Other news

I am stretching out. From head to bottom, I measure 3 1/2 inches — about the size of a lemon — and I weigh 1 1/2 ounces. My body's growing faster than my head, which now sits upon a more distinct neck. By the end of this week, my arms will have grown to a length that's in proportion to the rest of my body (my legs still have some lengthening to do).

I'm starting to develop an ultra-fine, downy covering of hair, called lanugo, all over my body. My dad says if I am a boy, the lanuga will make me a man, and if I am a girl it will cause problems to Nera (my mums 'depilaticarka'). My liver starts making bile this week — a sign that it's doing its job right, and I hope I will not grow up to have it spoiled, as my father did, with all varieties of Kavadarian stuff. And my spleen starts helping in the production of red blood cells. Go Reds Go! Though my father says I am not fully aware of the enmity and animosity of that color.

Though my mom can't feel my tiny punches and kicks yet, my little pugilist's hands and feet (which now measure about 1/2 inch long) are more flexible and active.