Or: The road from banana to a man is paved with monkey business.
Hi duderos. I now weigh 300 geees. And from the head to the rump (arse so to politely say) I am 17-18 cm. I wonder would anyone take such head-to-ass measurements. Ahh! Life is just full of it. But my total length now is 25 cm, quarter a meter. For all you that would react like: “25cm, come on, my whatever is longer than that”, remember that I was just 84 mm two months ago. So, when was the last time any one of you has tripled in 60 days? Ha! The info-sources that my dad is unsupportive of compare me to a banana. God damn huge a banana that is. What did it grow on? Steroids? Plus, can you imagine an attempt to glorify me in a Shakespearean parlance?! How would it sound?
Shall I compare thee to a banana or a bigger pickle? Thou art more reddish than periwinkle. The chocolates your mum devours
Leave you both sleepless for hours.
And sometimes your dad to thee sings
That good that you wish you had fleeing wings.
And every week Ye are a new plant
Where as you are an animal semen-sent.
And the womb ye live in shall be a-rocking
Months from now till ye have in our hugs been a-docking
But only then shall joys have commenced
And all anticipation in your smile dispensed.
And we shall set a sail in a life of love
And be it so and more than enough.
Hmmm, did not turn out so bad, after all.
Oh! And a correction. I am a banana length ass to brains, not feet to hair as my dad thought. But finally they can measure me up from head to heels. And I am stating to swallow more this week, although I have no pride so far so to ‘clog’ me up. And I am producing meconium, a black, sticky by-product of digestion. It is sort of like primeval faces, sh** or so. This gooey substance will accumulate in my bowels, and you'll see it in my first soiled diaper, my first poop what so ever. I am eagerly waiting to see the semi-logical expression of my parents overwhelmed joy upon seeing my first sh**. I’d never know people can go frantic about that.
Now, very important. Last Thursday I went to the alpha place, where it all started. Where my mum, dad and couple of dear people had celebrated my parents holy union, though not much is holy for my father. But more importantly, my mother stayed awake until ALMOST midnight, and had fun and slight pain, exhaustion and hangover the following day. Aahhh, blessed sins of youth. BUT most importantly, that is the place where the whole Mum ‘n’ Dad story began. Well, actually it began on the Lady Blue ‘shank’, but as we (including my future self) Skopjaners like to say: “Oh, it the old this or that”. It’s pitty most my shallow compatriots think of superficial, physical terms. What I am trying to say is that Mamas and papas share no same location in spatial terms, but more essentially IT IS the same place, time, mood, modality just some irrelevant meters from what was Lady. Hence, MP is the old Lady with some new papas. :)
Then I went on a mini-hike this weekend to Matka. My dad was rehearsing for our future walks by carrying and pushing two of my older friends – Kalin and Marko respectively. Some pretty tough dude my dad is, or stubborn, or unconventional, or just him. My mum did excellent as well. That good, that she repeated the challenge the very next day, with Ina and Ivo.
In the last few days I was getting to know the city, Soho and West End better, including: the Parliament, Westminster Abbey, Cabinet War Rooms, Downing Street, The National Gallery, National Portrait Gallery, Trafalgar Square, London Trocadero, Piccadilly Circus, Berwick Street Market, Oxford, Covent Garden, St. Paul’s Church, Royal Opera House, Institute of Contemporary Arts, Millennium Bridge, Tower of London, Tower Bridge, Buckingham Palace, Kensington Palace, Big Ben, and so on.
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